When Losing Means Winning (continued)

She had to learn the layout of this campus of 30,000 students, a challenge for this 34-year-old student who is totally blind in the left eye and partially blind in the right. It was a 10-minute walk if she followed the path along a tree-lined hill; 25 minutes if she took the long way. She found an apartment in graduate housing with light colored carpeting which made it easier to make out the shadowy objects she could see during daylight hours.

Next, she tackled classes and studying.

"I am competing against classmates who have an immediate advantage over me," said Dryden, through with her first year. She expected this year to be rough. Law students at the University of Iowa are graded on a curve, and 10 percent always fail. She still had to learn how to do research at the law library.

The cum laude University of Evansville graduate was accepted into five law schools. Deciding which one to attend was easy. The University of Iowa Law School was first choice because of its extensive handicapped services. "This school is really good at putting the handicapped at the same level as the other students to offset that disadvantage," she explained. The first three weeks of school were challenging because the services were not yet in place. Dryden and her friend, Benhaz, blinded during a bombing in Iran, worked together to gather notes and study.

Even though the university provides a work-study student to read her textbooks and record them on tape, she insists that students with a handicap must assume the responsibility for keeping up with their classmates. "We have to find ways to do well," she said.

In every class, Dryden records the lecture and takes her own notes, writing huge letters on a yellow legal-size pad. She sends her notes to her mother in Illinois who transcribes them and records them on tape. The law student probably spends twice as long preparing for class as do her peers. For every hour of law school, students expect to study three hours; Dryden will study six hours. "I could spend less time studying if I would work out some better systems," she said.

Of course, she can't read 1,100 words a minute like the other students or hurriedly skim over textbooks for a quick review. She can't play back all of her tapes but puts a bookmark in the parts she knows she needs to review.

Dryden is excited about some new computer technology that will make studying a little easier. She will soon receive a scanner that will take text files and convert them into a voice chip. Thus, for some texts, she won't need someone to read and record information for her. She also will use a scanner to enlarge the copy in her textbooks so she can read them on her computer monitor.

"Time management is everything; I rely on my memory because it is easier for me to remember than to look it up later. It is a myth that blind people have extra keen memories. They have developed them because they have been forced to use them more," she said. "I do understand what is going on in class, and I have the analytical and the writing skills I need to succeed here."

Attending law school was certainly not a lifelong goal. Her high school guidance counselor didn't even consider her college material. Dryden admits she didn't know what SAT was. She thought that law school was an unreachable goal reserved for the very smart or the very rich.

She first came to the University of Evansville in 1987 to attend the Summer Program for Students with Disabilities, sponsored by UE and and the Evansville Association for the Blind. Her vision had started to change in January of 1987, and she was diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy. Doctors promised a cure. Yet, the aggressive disease gradually blinded her, even after several laser treatments to remove abnormal blood vessels on her eyes. "What you are left with are little spots of blank vision. I have had 3,000 spots of vision that were taken care of with laser. In my right eye, it is sort of like looking through a screen door," said Dryden.

The Illinois Department of Rehabilitation Services referred Dryden to the UE program. There, she learned what she would need to do to survive at college -- finding readers for her tests and textbooks, getting around on campus and living on her own.

"Doors were opening for me," she said. "Losing my sight became an advantage because the financial barrier was gone, and I had the opportunity to re-educate myself."

In the fall 1987 semester, she declared business as her major and by spring had switched to an English major at the encouragement of Professor John Haegert who taught English Literature.

"Dr. Haegert liked my essays and must have seen something in me. He offered to be my adviser if I decided to major in English," said Dryden. Later on, when they talked about her career plans, Haegert would suggest attending law school. Eventually, she decided to pursue that goal.

In the middle of her second year at UE, her health problems once again disrupted her life. She would need a kidney transplant. Fortunately, her sister Mary was a perfect match and donated her kidney. "I dropped out with the idea that I would come back to school," remembered Dryden. In the meantime, her father, an engineer, had started a business, a small wire harness manufacturer. She was the CEO and managed the personnel and purchasing departments. She felt an obligation to stay and help operate the business.

Three years later, the family business closed when the biggest customer decided to work in house. Dryden returned to UE.

In spring 1996, she finished her degree. At Commencement, Professor Haegert escorted her across the stage so she could receive her diploma. "That was symbolic of our relationship. Dr. Haegert was more than my adviser," said Dryden. "He was my mentor and counseled me in many other areas as well."

Looking back on her career at UE, she recalls that at first she struggled with her handicap and was concerned that she would receive good grades only because people felt sorry for her. Many times, she spoke to Haegert about her feelings.

"I gradually came to the point where I believed in myself enough to realize that I was being graded according to my ability. Whether that was chance or design, I definitely know that I deserved the grades I got," said Dryden. "I have known some handicapped people who felt the world owed them a living. It becomes very easy for a handicapped person to fall into that rut of expecting a certain amount of allowance and consideration because of a handicap. When I become a lawyer, I want to be hired because I have the skills and have what it takes to be a lawyer, not because of some preferred affirmative action kind of treatment or someone admires me because I have managed to mainstream."

She plans to graduate in spring 1999, specializing in fair employment law. "My English major is really helping me now," said Dryden. So is her love for conversation. "I am normally a big talker. I think it will serve me well in litigation."